27th
July, 2001.
Yes,
yes, stupid cow-orker - it would be easier if you looked up the item
in the catalogue rather than asking me to remember which of 1200 serial numbers
applied to a particular obscure product that you can't even tell me the right
name of. Now why don't you go and fricking do just that?
Friday 27 July 2001
Tuesday 24 July 2001
24th
July, 2001.
Cow-orker got bored.
Cow-orker decided to go into one of our shared databases and make it look all nice and pretty using her mighty database design skills, without bothering to tell me.
Cow-orker has successfully proven by virtue of a green, red, and blue colour scheme that her aesthetic sense is even more suspect than I'd previously believed.
I think I'll go lock down some databases.
Cow-orker got bored.
Cow-orker decided to go into one of our shared databases and make it look all nice and pretty using her mighty database design skills, without bothering to tell me.
Cow-orker has successfully proven by virtue of a green, red, and blue colour scheme that her aesthetic sense is even more suspect than I'd previously believed.
I think I'll go lock down some databases.
Thursday 19 July 2001
Monday 16 July 2001
16th
July, 2001.
Insert standard complaint about cow-orkers...
She's doing the printer routine again. Someone else has asked her why she doesn't just print them all off and then collect everything at once. The reply boiled down to "because I might have to use my brain", but was phrased to make it sound like a wild and crazy idiosyncracy that we should be amused by.
I *so* do not need this.
Insert standard complaint about cow-orkers...
She's doing the printer routine again. Someone else has asked her why she doesn't just print them all off and then collect everything at once. The reply boiled down to "because I might have to use my brain", but was phrased to make it sound like a wild and crazy idiosyncracy that we should be amused by.
I *so* do not need this.
Wednesday 11 July 2001
11th July, 2001.
A Prayer: God give me strength, because you know I'm going to need it later today when I'm carting 150kg of dead cow-orker to dump in the nearby river.
Is it wrong to spend so much time contemplating the death of annoying co-workers? This question bothers me at times, and then the Cow-orker gets in to work and I realise within minutes that it's perfectly normal and I'm worrying about nothing.
A Prayer: God give me strength, because you know I'm going to need it later today when I'm carting 150kg of dead cow-orker to dump in the nearby river.
Is it wrong to spend so much time contemplating the death of annoying co-workers? This question bothers me at times, and then the Cow-orker gets in to work and I realise within minutes that it's perfectly normal and I'm worrying about nothing.
Tuesday 10 July 2001
10th July, 2001.
The inevitable downside to being off for a day: the half hour update about all the "excitement" I missed.
"And if you read this email in your Inbox..."
[pause while she waits until I open the email and read it]
"... it says this [she repeats the contents of the email]. But you don't need to worry about that one because I told them what they wanted to know."
"And this person called, but didn't leave a message. I haven't called them back."
"And then someone called about this vendor's contract and it was a really serious problem that had everyone worried. So I looked up the contract in the filing cabinet, and it said something different from what I thought it would, so I asked someone else and they thought the same thing. Then we asked a third person and they thought the same thing we did. So then I asked a fourth person, and he said that as far as he was concerned the contract meant we could do exactly what we'd been doing with it all along. So then I called the company who'd actually sent us the contract, and they said it was okay and the fourth person I'd asked had been right all along. So it wasn't really a serious problem after all."
"Oh, and if you look at this email it says this, but I didn't feel up to dealing with her because she's just a waste of time anyway so you'll probably want to make something up to give her." (A 10 second email during the course of this diatribe takes care of the "waste of time").
Unfortunately the Cow-Orker continues along its juggernaught-like path of stream-of-consciousness conversation for another ten minutes after this...
Damn, and I had to have the non-drowsy Sudafed, too. Where did I leave that Panadeine?
Unbelievably, it gets worse:
"I was looking for these - where were they hidden?"
RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FRICKING EYES!!! HAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!
I hope the chest pains are just my asthma playing up and not a sign of an impending coronary. Someone suggested via email that I try visualising a calm, blue ocean. I don't find calm, blue oceans to be inherently relaxing, so I mentally add a pack of sharks in a feeding frenzy with the Cow-Orker in the middle of them.
It helps.
The inevitable downside to being off for a day: the half hour update about all the "excitement" I missed.
"And if you read this email in your Inbox..."
[pause while she waits until I open the email and read it]
"... it says this [she repeats the contents of the email]. But you don't need to worry about that one because I told them what they wanted to know."
"And this person called, but didn't leave a message. I haven't called them back."
"And then someone called about this vendor's contract and it was a really serious problem that had everyone worried. So I looked up the contract in the filing cabinet, and it said something different from what I thought it would, so I asked someone else and they thought the same thing. Then we asked a third person and they thought the same thing we did. So then I asked a fourth person, and he said that as far as he was concerned the contract meant we could do exactly what we'd been doing with it all along. So then I called the company who'd actually sent us the contract, and they said it was okay and the fourth person I'd asked had been right all along. So it wasn't really a serious problem after all."
"Oh, and if you look at this email it says this, but I didn't feel up to dealing with her because she's just a waste of time anyway so you'll probably want to make something up to give her." (A 10 second email during the course of this diatribe takes care of the "waste of time").
Unfortunately the Cow-Orker continues along its juggernaught-like path of stream-of-consciousness conversation for another ten minutes after this...
Damn, and I had to have the non-drowsy Sudafed, too. Where did I leave that Panadeine?
Unbelievably, it gets worse:
"I was looking for these - where were they hidden?"
RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FRICKING EYES!!! HAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!
I hope the chest pains are just my asthma playing up and not a sign of an impending coronary. Someone suggested via email that I try visualising a calm, blue ocean. I don't find calm, blue oceans to be inherently relaxing, so I mentally add a pack of sharks in a feeding frenzy with the Cow-Orker in the middle of them.
It helps.
Monday 9 July 2001
9th July, 2001.
Ah, peace... I'm at home, sick, dosed up on Sudafed and some generic paracetamol/codeine combination to keep the sinus headaches and cold symptoms at bay. It's mid-winter, the house has the kind of interior temperature normally associated with high-level poltergeist activity, there's nothing to eat, and I'm still happier than I would be if I were healthy, warm and at work.
Ah, peace... I'm at home, sick, dosed up on Sudafed and some generic paracetamol/codeine combination to keep the sinus headaches and cold symptoms at bay. It's mid-winter, the house has the kind of interior temperature normally associated with high-level poltergeist activity, there's nothing to eat, and I'm still happier than I would be if I were healthy, warm and at work.
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