30th January, 2002.

"This email about Photoshop licenses from N**** that's coming out the printer, is it the email about Photoshop licenses from N**** I just asked if you could print out for me 10 seconds ago when I was standing over your shoulder watching you push the Print button?"

23rd January, 2002.

Question 1.
 
You're entering information into a database. Do you:

1. Include the 8-digit ID-code that's essential for cross-referencing an item's volume number to the vendor's index of what software can be found on that volume; or
2. Ignore it. Just because the preceding 1212 items in the database have been done this way doesn't mean anything - the person who normally maintains the database obviously just enjoys entering extraneous data for its own sake.

Question 2.
 
 Still working within the same database, do you:

1. Enter information in a consistent and legible manner; or
2. Pound randomly on the keyboard like a drunken chimpanzee with Attention Deficit Disorder, waiting anxiously for the next power blackout so you can go back to sticky-taping the CD-coaster collection to the wall to make pretty patterns?

If you answered (2) to either of these questions, there may be a vacancy for you here soon once pieces of your predecessor have been cleaned from the walls and ceiling.

22nd January, 2002.

"What if we do that then it still doesn't work? But what if we can't fix it that way? What will we do then? What if? What if? What if?!?"

How about we just *try* to fix the fricking thing first, see if it works and *then* worry about what to do next?